Meet Austin Couples Therapist Lauren Little

 

Tell us a little about your background as a therapist…

Hello there! My name is Lauren Little, and I am an Austin, TX-based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) Associate seeing individuals, couples, and other relational units. As an Austin couples therapist, I work with a variety of clients and draw on my training in several therapeutic models, including Attachment Theory, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Gottman Method Couples Therapy, and Internal Family Systems (IFS). Additionally, I have received specific training in grief and loss, spiritual harm and religious trauma, and sex therapy. 

Why did you choose to become a therapist?

For the past decade, I have worked as a pediatric nurse caring for patients and their families facing chronic and terminal illnesses. My passion has always been to offer compassionate, holistic care. Over time, I found myself especially drawn to the mental health side of caring for others. My own experience in therapy has had a profound impact on me and ultimately inspired me to pursue graduate school. I went on to complete my Master’s in Counseling at Texas State University and pursued additional counseling training for couples therapy and other populations, further deepening my commitment to helping others on their healing journey.

What are you passionate about in the therapy room?

My training reflects the many passions that led me to become a therapist. As an Austin couples therapist, I am especially passionate about working with couples and individuals who seek deeper intimacy within their relationships and wish to overcome challenges in emotional and physical connection. I enjoy working with clients who desire a deeper understanding of themselves and their relationships with others.

Additionally, I am deeply committed to supporting clients who have experienced grief or loss, addressing the many aspects of life that can be impacted by these experiences. I am also particularly passionate about working with individuals who have experienced spiritual harm or religious abuse, helping them heal and rebuild a healthy sense of self.

In my work with individuals, I am dedicated to supporting those navigating life transitions, managing anxiety and depression, and those who may have experienced trauma or have developmental trauma histories.

Beyond the therapy space, what do you enjoy?

Outside of sessions, I cherish time with my husband and our baby girl. Together we love exploring Austin and find joy in the food and coffee scene. Catching live music or sitting down to a meal with family and friends are other favorite activities. If I’m not doing these things, I enjoy a good yoga flow, getting lost in a book, or finishing a sewing project. I am currently working on a quilt and learning how to two-step!

Looking for an Austin couples therapist or individual therapist? Reach out to Lauren to schedule a free 15-minute phone consult!

 

6 Strategies to Help Couples Navigate Life Transitions as a Team

 

Major life transitions, such as moving to a new city, having a baby, or changing careers, can bring about significant changes in a couple's dynamic. While these transitions can be exciting, they can also be challenging and stressful. In this blog post, we'll explore strategies for couples to support each other during these significant changes and maintain a strong, healthy relationship.

Understanding Major Life Transitions

Common Types of Life Transitions

    • Relocation: Moving to a new home or city

    • Career Changes: Starting a new job or business, changing careers, or going back to school

    • Family Changes: Getting married, having a baby, dealing with a family illness, or caring for aging parents

    • Financial Changes: Significant changes in income, such as a job loss or major investment

Common Challenges for Couples Experiencing Life Transitions

    • Stress and Anxiety: Uncertainty and fear of the unknown

    • Communication Breakdown: Misunderstandings and lack of communication

    • Different Coping Mechanisms: Each partner may handle stress differently

Strategies for Navigating Life Transitions

  1. Open Communication

    • Regular Check-Ins: Schedule time to talk about each partner’s feelings, needs, concerns, and expectations.

    • Active Listening: Listen to each other without interrupting and validate each other’s feelings.

    • Transparency: Be honest about your needs and worries.

    • Refrain from Criticizing: Transitions are difficult enough. Focus on your partner’s positive qualities and refrain from criticizing during conversations.

    • Check your Defensiveness: With increased stress and anxiety, it’s easy to be defensive and blaming. Manage your defensiveness and own your part to help conversations go more smoothly.

  2. Set Realistic Expectations

    • Manage Expectations: Understand that things might not go as planned and be prepared to adapt.

    • Be Patient: Allow time for adjustment, and don’t rush the process.

  3. Work as a Team

    • Share Responsibilities: Divide tasks and support each other in managing the workload.

    • Problem-Solve Together: Approach challenges as a team rather than individually.

  4. Seek Support

    • Professional Help: Consider seeing a couples therapist to help navigate the transition.

    • Support Networks: Lean on friends and family for additional support.

  5. Self-Care and Mutual Care

    • Personal Well-being: Take time for self-care activities to reduce stress.

    • Quality Time Together: Spend time doing enjoyable activities to strengthen your bond.

  6. Celebrate Milestones

    • Acknowledge Progress: Celebrate small wins and progress in your journey.

    • Create Positive Memories: Focus on creating positive experiences together.

Navigating these transitions alone can be overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. The strategies outlined may seem simple, but they can be difficult to implement when you’re in the midst of stress, anxiety, and communication difficulties. Our couples therapy services are designed to help you and your partner manage these changes and come out stronger on the other side.

If you’re facing a significant life transition and need support, contact us today to schedule a free consultation for Austin couples therapy and take the first step toward a healthier, happier relationship. Let us help you turn these challenges into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.

Article by Hannah Eubank, LPC, LMFT

Contact us for Austin Couples Therapy through the link below

 

Meet Austin Couples Therapist Emily Ilseng

 

Tell us a little about who you are and your background as a couples therapist…

Hi there! My name is Emily Ilseng, and I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) Associate and couples therapist based in Austin, Texas. Since I started counseling, I have worked with a variety of individuals, couples, teens, and families. I am trained in Prepare/Enrich, which I utilize in premarital therapy with couples, and I also use Gottman Method Couples Therapy.

Why did you choose to become a couples therapist?

Learning about psychology, relationship dynamics, and having an understanding of a person’s personality has always fascinated me, and it is what initially sparked my desire to be a therapist. Growing up, I always wanted to be at a job that revolved around working with others and helping others. Therapy as a profession felt like a great way to help and support others in a personal manner. Another reason why I chose to become a therapist is because I know what it feels like to feel misunderstood and just want to feel seen and heard. As a therapist, I now have the privilege and opportunity to provide a safe space to allow clients to feel heard and seen, as well as explore their emotions and whatever challenges life might be throwing at them.

Where did you get your counseling education?

I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from Texas Tech University. I have a Master of Arts in Counseling with a concentration in Marriage, Couples, and Family Therapy from St. Edward's University here in Austin.

What types of therapy clients do you like to work with?

In individual therapy, I love to work with those who might be experiencing perfectionism or are wanting to understand their own relationships or family dynamics. I specialize in couples therapy for those who are longing for a deeper connection with their partner or are wanting to repair their relationship after a betrayal. The reason I love working with these types of individuals or couples has to do with my own personal experience of wanting a deeper understanding of my own relationships and family dynamics. I have a passion for learning about relationships, and I want to help support others who are wanting to gain a better understanding of themselves or their relationship dynamics.

What do you enjoy outside of therapy?

Outside of the therapy room, I like to read my Kindle. My favorite genre right now is psychological thrillers, specifically those written by Freida McFadden! I also enjoy watching college football with friends, and in the fall, I love attending games. My favorite teams to watch are my Texas Tech Red Raiders, of course! A close second favorite is Texas Christian University— Go Frogs! I also love going to spin classes, going for walks on the trail, and playing golf when the weather is nice.

If you resonate with Emily and you’re ready to take the next step, reach out to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation. 

Emily Ilseng, MA, LMFT Associate

Offering Austin Couples Therapy and Individual Counseling

 

Benefits of Premarital Counseling

 

Premarital counseling can be beneficial for the health of both partners and your relationship, even if you’re looking forward to your wedding and don’t feel like you have any pressing relational issues. This type of counseling provides a safe and supportive space for couples to explore specific aspects of their relationship. Pre-marital therapy can help improve communication skills, preemptively identify future challenges, build a stronger relational bond between partners, discuss sensitive topics, and plan for the future.

Improve communication skills

Effective communication is crucial to a healthy relationship and can positively impact a couple’s relational and mental health. Through counseling, couples can learn how to express their thoughts and feelings in a way that is clear, respectful, and non-confrontational. They can also learn active listening skills that promote emotional intimacy and reduce the risk of misunderstandings that can negatively affect their relationship.

Identify future disputes

Premarital counseling can help to identify and address potential, longer-term challenges, before they become significant issues. This can be done by assisting partners to identify potential triggers or future misalignments and develop coping strategies that minimize the impact of these conflicts on the health of their marriage.

Develop skills to navigate conflict

All couples will experience some type of conflict. Counseling can help to identify the couple’s patterns while in conflict and introduce new skills and strategies to improve their argumentative styles. Improvements in how a couple argues can result in shorter times in discourse and greater understanding of their partner’s unique perspective.

Build stronger relational bonds

Counseling can help partners develop a deeper understanding of each other's needs, increase emotional connection, and build a deeper sense of trust – all important components of a healthy marriage. By strengthening these parts of their relationship, a couple can protect their relationship from feelings of loneliness when life becomes stressful.

Discuss sensitive topics

Premarital counseling provides a safe space to discuss sensitive topics, such as intimacy, family planning, finances, religion, past trauma, or mental health struggles. Couples can explore these issues and work through these areas in a non-judgmental and supportive environment. This work can lead to increased emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and empathy for themselves and each other.

Plan for the future

Counseling can help couples set realistic expectations for their future together. This is especially important since having unspoken, unrealistic expectations for their marriage can lead to disappointment, frustration, and stress. Engaging in therapy can help partners develop strategies to competently navigate challenges that may arise as their marriage commences and matures.

If you and your partner are interested in benefiting from premarital counseling, reach out to any of our therapists for support in your journey to the altar. 

Article by Lindsay Poth, MA, LMFT Associate

Offering Individual Therapy for Women in Life Transitions, Individual Therapy for Men, Couples Therapy, & Marriage Counseling in Austin, TX

 

How to Support Someone with Anxiety

 

To conclude this series on panic attacks and anxiety, this post will focus on how to support someone who experiences anxiety. Check out my previous posts to read the full series - Panic Attacks vs. Anxiety | How to Know the Difference + How To Support Someone During a Panic Attack.

Similar to panic attacks, unless you have had a discussion with your loved one about how they want to be cared for during their anxious moments, you can feel unsure about how to provide support for them. Here, we list some strategies you can immediately employ with them or use to begin a dialog about what may resonate best with them to manage their anxiety. By learning more about some of these general tactics, you can help create a stable, understanding environment for anyone who struggles with anxiety.

Here are some suggestions for how to care for someone who is experiencing anxiety:

  • When someone shares that they are feeling anxious, listen and validate their feelings. Anxious thoughts can feel overwhelming so try to avoid minimizing their anxiety, dismissing their experience, or telling them to “just relax”. Instead, show empathy and acknowledge the challenges they are facing.

  • Encourage the person to identify triggers that may have led to the onset of their anxious feelings and help them to employ coping strategies such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or practicing mindfulness. Ask them if they have any unique, specific tactics that have worked for them in the past and then help them to implement them.

  • Anxiety can make everyday duties more difficult, so offer practical, logistical support by helping with tasks such as grocery shopping, running errands, or basic housekeeping. Assisting with some of these common, daily tasks can help alleviate some of the general stress your loved one may be feeling at the same time as the anxiety is present.

  • Supporting someone who is experiencing anxiety can be emotionally and mentally draining so also remember the importance of taking care of yourself. This may involve seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional of your own.

  • If your loved one’s anxiety is severe or interfering with their daily life, encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional. A therapist or other mental health provider can help them understand the root cause of their anxiety and develop additional strategies for managing it.

With patience and understanding, you can help your loved one feel supported and cared for as they experience and manage their anxiety. Remember that seeking help and finding coping strategies are important steps in managing anxiety and improving overall well-being.

 

9 Cognitive Distortions That Influence Negative Thinking

 

Do you recall a time when you were driving, a song came on, and as a result, you felt a certain emotion or had a specific memory? Then what happened? Did you feel sad and cry, or maybe you got mad and got upset? Then what did you do? Did you text your ex because the song made you think of them or honk at a car around you because you were mad?

Sometimes, do you feel like these experiences are out of your control? Our thoughts impact our emotions, which influence our behavior. This concept is the foundation of a type of therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, also known as CBT.

The premise of CBT is about how what we feel, what we think, and how we act impact one another.

Let’s take another example - you go on Instagram, see someone posted a picture on vacation with their new girlfriend, and you then think, “I will die alone.”

This is an example of what we call a cognitive distortion - a thought pattern or belief that is exaggerated, irrational, or inaccurate. Sometimes we create cognitive distortions from thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

CBT therapy helps you process your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in order to be more present. One way to do this is by working with cognitive distortions.

Examples of cognitive distortions:

  1. Black and white thinking - you have an all-or-nothing mentality

    Example: “I didn’t do the dishes. I am lazy, and I am a failure.”

  2. Catastrophizing - you go to the extreme, worst-case scenario 

    Example: “I will not pass the exam, and it will be a bad experience.”

  3. Discounting - you feel unworthy and discount an experience, justifying the unworthiness

    Example: “I only passed because I got lucky.”

  4. Emotional reasoning - you rationalize your feeling

    Example: “I feel sad, so something must be wrong with my career.”

  5. Labeling  - you label yourself as something negative 

    Example: “I am broken.”

  6. Should statements - you guilt or shame yourself for what you think you are supposed to do

    Example: “I should fold the laundry right now, even though I am exhausted.” 

  7. Blaming - you blame someone or something else

    Example: “It is my mom's fault for being like this.” 

  8. Overgeneralizing  - you generalize an experience

    Example: “I had bad luck last time I tried this. I will never get it right.”

  9. Mind reading - assuming what someone else is thinking

    Example: “I know he doesn’t like me.”

Cognitive distortions can impact how we feel about ourselves, go about our day, and impact our overall well-being. With CBT strategies, we can become more aware and train ourselves to be aware of these thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors to improve our quality of life.

Here are a few CBT strategies:

Cognitive Restructuring

This strategy is about identifying and reframing cognitive distortions with a better outlook.

For example, you recognize when tell yourself that you are lazy because you should have been more productive (an example of a should statement and an overgeneralization). You can use the strategy of cognitive restructuring to reframe and consciously remember all the times you have been productive, then instead tell yourself that maybe you need rest right now.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is one of the best ways to be present. Mindfulness practices include breathing, meditation, journaling, and moving your body. The key is to purposefully engage in and focus on an experience without any evaluation or judgement. With a mindfulness practice, you become more aware of your thoughts, befriend them, and are able to just be with them.  You can bring the subconscious to consciousness. You can respond versus react to your thoughts. By tuning into yourself, you can intentionally replace your cognitive distortions with cognitive restructuring.

Other CBT strategies include exposure therapy, self-compassion, behavioral activation, and skill training.

Realizing that some of these cognitive distortions are ones you use at times? Reach out to Sarah for support in recognizing and working with cognitive distortions in individual CBT therapy.

Article by Sarah Imparato, MA, LMFT Associate

Offering Couples Therapy & Individual Therapy in Austin, Texas

 

Avoidant Attachment Style in Relationships

 

In my previous post, I wrote about attachment theory, attachment styles, and specifically, anxious attachment style. In this post, we’ll explore another type of attachment style — avoidant attachment style.

Avoidant Attachment Style

People with an avoidant attachment style are generally more distant or dismissive of closeness and intimate relationships. Oftentimes, these individuals did not receive the closeness they were perhaps craving as a child. Their need to express emotions and connectedness was met with disapproval. Those with an avoidant attachment style perhaps had more closed-off, emotionally unavailable, or stern parents. With this, as adults, those with an avoidant attachment style can be very independent and self-sufficient and appear confident. These individuals may fear too much closeness and come off as dismissive.

Avoidant Attachment Style Triggers

Those with avoidant attachment styles can display the image of being overall happy and “fine.” At the same time, on the inside, they struggle to connect with their partner or to feel safe expressing themselves deeply. They might appear to have high self-esteem and a fun-loving personality. They are easy to be around, and it often seems like they have it all together, but they struggle to actually get close to others. For those with avoidant attachment style, a relationship can start to feel scary when the bond starts to feel too “deep.” It may feel like a closed door when it comes to emotional closeness and intimacy with this attachment style. To a partner, this may seem hot and cold and be confusing.

Ways to Manage an Avoidant Attachment Style 

For those with avoidant attachment style, a first step to managing this style is actually to create space and distance. This is a good time to self-reflect and recalibrate the nervous system. Once you regulate your nervous system, you can start asking yourself questions like — “What do I feel? What sensations are arising emotionally and physically? What will make me feel safe to open up?”

Then ask yourself — “What do I need, and what should I do?”  How can you feel safe to share with your partner and lean into the conversation? What will make you feel close?   Gaining insight into your internal compass and taking baby steps towards softening towards another person is a strong step forward that can lead you from avoidant to secure attachment.

For the partner of an individual with avoidant attachment style, it can be so hard to give the avoidant partner space, especially if the partner leans towards an anxious attachment style themselves. The partner may need to take a beat and get curious about their own attachment triggers to give room for their partner to manage theirs. You can also approach your partner by asking how you can support them and how the two of you can connect in the moment. 

In addition to self-reflection and nervous system regulation, individual therapy, marriage counseling, couples therapy, and mindfulness practices can help you manage your avoidant attachment style.

Article by Sarah Imparato, MA, LMFT Associate

Offering Austin Couples Therapy & Individual Therapy in Austin, Texas

 

How To Support Someone During a Panic Attack

 

In a previous post, we started a discussion about some ways that panic attacks and anxiety differ.  In this post, we’ll focus on how to support someone experiencing panic attacks (although some of these suggestions can be used when either condition is present).

Unless you and your loved one have discussed how you can support them, prior to the onset of a panic attack, you can feel helpless and uncertain about what to do.  Panic attacks can be overwhelming and frightening for the person experiencing the attack, and you have the opportunity to provide a safe and supportive environment for them at that moment.

Here are some suggestions for how to care for someone who is having a panic attack:

  • You may feel worried or concerned when someone you care about is in distress, but it's important to remain as calm as possible.  Panic attacks can also stir up strong emotions for you in the moment, so try to maintain a sense of calm within yourself, as you help the person experiencing the attack.

  • Panic attacks can feel like a medical emergency, so it's important to reassure the person that they are safe and that the attack will pass.  Let them know that they are not alone and remind them that you are there to support them.

  • Certain stimuli or situations can trigger panic attacks, so it's important to create a safe and comfortable environment for the person experiencing the attack.  This may involve removing any triggers you are aware of and finding a quiet, private space for them to recover.

  • Panic attacks can include rapid breathing, which can make the attack feel worse. Provide encouragement to take slow, deep breaths to help slow their heart rate and calm their body.  You can demonstrate how to take deep breaths, if you observe that they are feeling short of breath.

  • Urge the person to use any coping strategies that they have learned, such as deep breathing or focusing on the details of the environment around them.  If they don't have any coping strategies, you can offer any calming actions you have personally found helpful.

  • If the person is experiencing panic attacks frequently or if the panic attacks are causing significant distress in their life, recommend that they seek help from a mental health professional.  A therapist or other mental health provider can help them understand the root cause of the attacks and develop strategies for managing them.

Everyone experiences panic attacks differently – what works for one person may not work for another person.  Providing support and understanding for your partner, friend, or family who deals with this condition can be incredibly helpful for them, both during the episode and after they have recovered.

 

Anxious Attachment Style in Relationships

 

Your partner doesn’t call you back when you call them — what do you do and think? Do you automatically assume they are mad at you? Do you text them and demand that they call you back? Where is your head at — totally spinning?

You go out on a date with someone new — after the first date, do you immediately start wondering when the next date will be? Does it feel like you absolutely need to know?

These thoughts and reactions may be some indicators of an anxious attachment style.

What is Attachment Theory?

Attachment theory was first founded by John Bowlby in his research on how babies attach to their primary caregiver. For example, in this research, they looked at things like — when the baby cried for a changed diaper, did the caregiver come in and change the diaper? What they found was that the level of responsiveness of a caregiver to a baby’s needs impacted how the baby experienced safety, trust, and connection and influenced how this child would interact in the world with others throughout life.

Sue Johnson furthered the study of this theory with a focus on how these attachment styles show up in our intimate partnerships as adults. Johnson applied the four attachment styles first identified by Bowlby — secure attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, and anxious attachment — to adult partnerships.

Anxious Attachment Style

As a child, those with an anxious attachment style may have had an inconsistent or confusing dynamic with their primary caregiver due to inconsistent or misattuned parenting. Perhaps they often had temper tantrums and felt a strong need to be close to their primary caregiver, but the caregiver did not respond with closeness or comfort most of the time. These children may have been easy to get worked up and upset and unable to self-regulate.

In adult partnerships, those with anxious attachment style tend to be “needy” and dependent on their partner. Some signals of anxious attachment include: low self-esteem, fear of rejection and abandonment, jealousy, worry, approval seeking, lack of boundaries, and clinginess.

Anxious Attachment Style Triggers

Triggers for an anxiously attached individual may include: inconsistency in communication from a partner when the partner is running late, when a partner seems distant or disconnected, a partner forgetting an important event, or a partner not noticing a new haircut or outfit.

Those with anxious attachment styles in a relationship can react to their triggers in the following ways: constantly thinking about the relationship, worrying about threats to the relationship, desiring constant connection to their partner, and often being quick to anger, blame, and explain to their partner.

Ways to Manage an Anxious Attachment Style 

If you’re identifying with some of these signals, triggers, or reactions, you may have an anxious attachment style. One of the best ways to work with an anxious attachment style when you’re triggered is to focus on self-regulating your emotions in the following ways:

  • Recognize you’re overstimulated

  • Breathe and think through, holding off on a big emotional reaction

  • Work to calm yourself down and get grounded

  • Manage the expectations of your partner

  • Communicate your anger or hurt in a non-reactive way

In addition to self-regulation, talk therapy, marriage counseling, couples therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) strategies, and mindfulness also help with managing your anxious attachment style.

Article by Sarah Imparato, MA, LMFT Associate

Offering Austin Couples Therapy & Individual Therapy

 

Panic Attacks vs. Anxiety | How to Know the Difference

 

If you or a loved one has experienced a panic attack or anxiety, you understand how intense these conditions can feel, both emotionally and physically. Depending on how distressing the symptoms are, a person’s close relationships can be strained or negatively affected due to confusion about the condition or lack of support. 

In this three-part blog series, we’ll first outline some of the differences between the conditions, and in the following two posts, we’ll offer some ways to support others trying to manage these conditions.

How do panic attacks and anxiety differ?

Panic attacks and anxiety are two terms that are often used interchangeably, but they actually refer to two different experiences. 

A panic attack is a sudden and intense feeling of fear or anxiety that is often accompanied by a variety of physical symptoms, such as increased heart rate, shortness of breath, dizziness, and/or chest pain. These attacks can be triggered by various situations or environments. Panic attacks can feel so severe that they may feel like a heart attack or other medical emergency.

In comparison, anxiety is a more persistent and ongoing feeling of worry, stress, or fear that can interfere with daily activities. Anxiety can be a normal response to stress, but it can also be a symptom of an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders are more severe and enduring forms of anxiety and include generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, or phobias.

One key difference between panic attacks and anxiety is the intensity and duration of the symptoms. Panic attacks are typically more intense and shorter in duration compared to anxiety, which tends to be a more chronic condition. Another difference is that panic attacks are often triggered by specific stimuli or situations, while anxiety can be more persistent and may not have a specific trigger.

What can be done to manage either of these conditions? 

Treatment for panic attacks and anxiety may involve similar approaches, such as therapy, medication, and relaxation techniques. However, the specific treatment plan will depend on the severity and cause of the symptoms. Both panic attacks and anxiety can be treated effectively with the right approach. If you or a loved one are experiencing symptoms of either condition, help from a mental health counselor or medical professional can be an important step in managing these conditions and improving overall well-being.

Check back in the next couple of months for additional blog posts that outline specific ways you can support someone experiencing a panic attack or anxiety.

Article by Lindsay Poth, MA, LMFT Associate

Offering Individual Therapy for Women in Life Transitions, Individual Therapy for Men, & Couples Therapy in Austin, TX