Criticism: The Destructive Behavior to Stop Doing in Your Marriage or Relationship

 

Criticism

In the first post in this blog series on destructive communication patterns in your marriage, we defined The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, as described in the book The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work, by Dr. Gottman and Nan Silver – criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. To understand more about each of these dysfunctional relational cycles, this second post will focus on criticism, a communication pattern that often presents itself during marriage counseling.

What is criticism?

Criticism represents a destructive communication style where one partner attacks the other's character or personality, rather than addressing a specific behavior or situation. Instead of addressing the specific behavior, one partner generalizes the other’s faults or blames the other partner.

Scenario showing criticism in a marriage

Susie and Bill were high school sweethearts and married after college. Given the length of their relationship, they have certainly had their fair share of arguments. However, lately, their disagreements have started to turn critical.

Recently, Susie expressed her frustration with Bill, after he’d forgotten their anniversary a few days earlier. When Bill walked into the kitchen to grab a snack, Susie said, “Bill, I can't believe you forgot our anniversary again. It's like you don't care about our relationship or the things that are important to me.” Hearing this, Bill immediately replied, “Oh, come on, Susie.  It's just a date on the calendar. You're always making a big deal out of nothing. You're too sensitive, and you expect me to remember every little thing.”

In this short interaction, you can see clearly that Susie's part of the conversation turned critical when she accused Bill of not caring about their relationship. In doing this, she made a global statement about his character, implying he was neglecting their bond and being inconsiderate.

The Antidote to Criticism: How to stop criticism from destroying your marriage

Dr. Gottman suggests that couples combat criticism by practicing what he calls a "softened start-up." This technique involves approaching your partner by sharing your feelings and then relating these feelings to a specific concern in a gentle and non-accusatory way.

How could this interaction have gone differently?

Instead of making general statements about Bill's character, Susie could have said, "Bill, I really felt hurt and disappointed when you forgot our anniversary the other day. I always think about our anniversary as a day to celebrate us as a couple, and that day is important to me. It would mean a lot to me if you would remember that day as a special day for us." This approach focuses on Susie’s feelings and the specific behavior of Bill’s, rather than attacking him or globalizing his behavior.

Need a little help overcoming criticism in your relationship? Marriage counseling can help. Contact us for a free phone consultation and get your marriage back on track.

Article by Lindsay Poth, MA, LMFT Associate

Offering Austin Marriage Counseling, Individual Counseling for Women, & Individual Counseling for Men

 

Four Behaviors in a Marriage that Predict Divorce: Gottman’s Four Horsemen

 

In the book The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work, by Dr. John Gottman and Nan Silver, the authors discuss Dr. Gottman’s "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse". The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are communication patterns that, if present, can indicate significant relational distress and can even be a strong indicator to predict a breakup or divorce. If any of these patterns show up during interactions with your partner, pay attention and take action. Learn to identify, understand, and fix these dynamics so that you can improve your relationship or marriage (and even save it!).

What are The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?

  1. Criticism

    Criticism represents a destructive communication style where one partner attacks the other's character or personality, rather than addressing a specific behavior or situation. Instead of addressing the specific behavior, one partner generalizes the other’s faults or blames the other partner.

  2. Contempt

    Contempt shows up when one partner expresses an attitude of superiority and disrespect towards the other partner, which is often seen through sarcasm or name-calling. This can include physical eye-rolling or making comments that belittle the other partner's opinions. 

  3. Defensiveness

    Defensiveness is expressed when one partner neglects to accept responsibility and fails to try to understand their partner's perspective. Usually, defensive individuals tend to immediately counterattack or deflect blame.

  4. Stonewalling

    Stonewalling occurs when one partner refuses to engage with the other or emotionally shuts down due to feeling generally overwhelmed or flooded with specific emotions. This response can include acts such as avoiding eye contact or physically leaving the room.

Sometimes, it’s hard to acknowledge that you and your partner are struggling to communicate effectively. Learning about Dr. Gottman’s concepts (such as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse) can be helpful when you are feeling stuck and wondering how to improve interactions with your partner. By recognizing and addressing these destructive communication patterns, you can start to improve some of your negative communication habits. If efforts are not made to improve or change these patterns, your relationship or marriage may continue to suffer and, in time, become less and less beneficial to you or your partner. 

So how can you identify these issues and make changes? In the next four parts of this blog series, we’ll look at each of these patterns, examine specific scenarios to illustrate each concept, and discuss how to improve or change each type of dysfunctional cycle.

Article by Lindsay Poth, MA, LMFT Associate

Offering Marriage Counseling in Austin, Individual Counseling for Women, & Individual Counseling for Men

 

Meet Austin Couples Therapist Emily Ilseng

 

Tell us a little about who you are and your background as a couples therapist…

Hi there! My name is Emily Ilseng, and I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) Associate and couples therapist based in Austin, Texas. Since I started counseling, I have worked with a variety of individuals, couples, teens, and families. I am trained in Prepare/Enrich, which I utilize in premarital therapy with couples, and I also use Gottman Method Couples Therapy.

Why did you choose to become a couples therapist?

Learning about psychology, relationship dynamics, and having an understanding of a person’s personality has always fascinated me, and it is what initially sparked my desire to be a therapist. Growing up, I always wanted to be at a job that revolved around working with others and helping others. Therapy as a profession felt like a great way to help and support others in a personal manner. Another reason why I chose to become a therapist is because I know what it feels like to feel misunderstood and just want to feel seen and heard. As a therapist, I now have the privilege and opportunity to provide a safe space to allow clients to feel heard and seen, as well as explore their emotions and whatever challenges life might be throwing at them.

Where did you get your counseling education?

I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from Texas Tech University. I have a Master of Arts in Counseling with a concentration in Marriage, Couples, and Family Therapy from St. Edward's University here in Austin.

What types of therapy clients do you like to work with?

In individual therapy, I love to work with those who might be experiencing perfectionism or are wanting to understand their own relationships or family dynamics. I specialize in couples therapy for those who are longing for a deeper connection with their partner or are wanting to repair their relationship after a betrayal. The reason I love working with these types of individuals or couples has to do with my own personal experience of wanting a deeper understanding of my own relationships and family dynamics. I have a passion for learning about relationships, and I want to help support others who are wanting to gain a better understanding of themselves or their relationship dynamics.

What do you enjoy outside of therapy?

Outside of the therapy room, I like to read my Kindle. My favorite genre right now is psychological thrillers, specifically those written by Freida McFadden! I also enjoy watching college football with friends, and in the fall, I love attending games. My favorite teams to watch are my Texas Tech Red Raiders, of course! A close second favorite is Texas Christian University— Go Frogs! I also love going to spin classes, going for walks on the trail, and playing golf when the weather is nice.

If you resonate with Emily and you’re ready to take the next step, reach out to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation. 

Emily Ilseng, MA, LMFT Associate

Offering Austin Couples Therapy and Individual Counseling

 

4 ​​Keys to an Effective Apology from a Marriage Counselor

 

We’ve all been there. We’ve done something to hurt, offend, or anger someone we love. It’s awkward. There’s tension and maybe even some regret. The clear next step is to break the ice and acknowledge what happened.

As a marriage counselor, I see many people who don’t know where to start. Apologizing is a lost art, and it’s hard to know how to apologize to repair effectively.

In marriage counseling, there tend to be two types of people when it comes to apologizing. The first type is those who rush in, apologize, and take the blame, so to speak, just to move on and keep the peace. Smoothing it over might look good on the surface, as it keeps things moving, but if the apology feels empty or is not genuine, you're in no better place than where you started. Then there's the person who struggles to admit wrongdoing or admit they did something that negatively impacted someone they care about. So, the first part of the process is to own your thoughts and emotions. Are you in a place to genuinely apologize? Or do you need to regulate your own feelings more?

Once you find yourself in a clear headspace, consider these four components that should be included in your apology and the DOs and DON’Ts of each. 

Guidelines for an Effective Apology

  1. Be specific.

    • It’s important to be very specific about what you are apologizing for. Refrain from apologizing for how the other person perceives you or how the other person feels; it always misses the mark. 

      • DO: “I’m sorry I ignored you when I came home after work last night.”

      • DON’T: “I’m sorry you feel angry that I ignored you.” 

  2. Admit you were wrong.

    • This is the hardest part of an apology! For an apology to be genuine, you want to admit wrongdoing. Even if your intentions were good (most of the time, they are!), that isn’t what’s important here. Let them know that you see that what you did had a negative impact.

      • DO: “It wasn’t right for me to treat you that way.”

      • DON’T: “ I didn’t mean for it to come off that way” - or - “It wasn’t my intention to treat you that way.”

  3. Show that you understand their perspective.

    • Again, be specific. Put yourself in their shoes, let them know you understand how your actions impacted them, and go a step further to imagine how they must have felt emotionally. Then, reflect that to them.

      • DO: “I imagine you must have felt unimportant to me at that moment.”

      • DON’T: “You’re being sensitive, so you took it the wrong way.”

  4. Ask for forgiveness.

    • Apologizing is a vulnerable task. You’re putting yourself out there to admit you were wrong and ultimately asking for repair. Once you’ve covered the first three steps, ask for forgiveness. Understand that the receiver may need more time before they wipe the slate clean. 

      • DO: “ Are you willing to forgive me?”

      • DON’T: “Hope you feel better now that I apologized so we can move on.”

An effective apology is just one skill that can help you have a healthier communication pattern in your marriage. If you’re struggling, marriage counseling can help. Reach out to one of our marriage counselors to schedule a free consult call.

Article by Cat van der Westhuizen, LPC, LMFT

Offering Austin Marriage Counseling, Couples Therapy, and Individual Counseling

 

What is Anticipatory Grief? A Counselor Weighs in on How to Cope

 

Anticipatory grief is a complex and often misunderstood emotional experience that occurs when someone anticipates an impending loss of someone or something – this can be anything from the death of a loved one to children transitioning out of the family home to a relationship ending. Unlike conventional grief, which comes after the actual loss, anticipatory grief allows you to begin the grieving process before the actual loss occurs.

During this time, individuals may experience a range of conflicting emotions. Anticipatory grief can range from sadness and anxiety to guilt and anger and even relief. You may feel guilty for experiencing moments of relief or anger toward the situation. You may grieve not only the impending loss but also the future you had envisioned before transitioning through the loss. This wide range of emotional states can feel emotionally overwhelming, leaving you in a constant state of emotional flux.

A unique challenge of anticipatory grief is that this process can be prolonged in nature, feeling like an extended state of limbo, waiting for the inevitable loss to occur. Therefore, taking care of yourself is crucial to navigating this waiting period. Self-care takes on added significance during this time, so prioritizing both your physical and emotional health can help you maintain an overall sense of well-being, alongside processing the loss. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and peace can provide a much-needed respite from the heavy emotions you are feeling. Rest, nutrition, exercise, and stress-reducing practices like meditation or journaling can help maintain a sense of balance.

Seeking support is crucial when experiencing anticipatory grief, so connecting with friends, family, or a support group can provide understanding and empathy during this challenging time. If you feel you need additional support, grief counseling can offer a safe space to process emotions, explore coping mechanisms, and find solace.

Acceptance and surrender are also vital aspects of navigating anticipatory grief, so recognizing this is a natural response to an impending loss allows you to validate your emotions without self-judgment. Practicing self-compassion and allowing yourself to feel all the emotions that arise can help to facilitate healing and growth in the midst of the challenging transition.

Anticipatory grief is a complex emotional journey that individuals face when they expect a loss to occur. Realizing that this type of grief can be experienced in a wide array of circumstances allows you to process your loss and the associated emotions in a healthy, beneficial way. 

Article by Lindsay Poth, MA, LMFT Associate

Offering Individual Counseling for Women, Individual Counseling for Men, & Couples Counseling in Austin, TX

 

7 Tips to Help Couples Find Work-life Balance in their Relationships

 

Finding a balance between work and personal life can be challenging, especially for couples. The demands of careers and daily responsibilities often lead to neglected relationships and increased stress. However, with conscious effort, effective strategies, and consistent attention, couples can maintain a healthier work-life balance.

Here are some tips to help couples find harmony in both their careers and relationships:

1. Communicate frequently

Open and honest communication is the foundation of any successful relationship. Discussing each other’s work schedules, commitments, and personal needs is important for couples. Regular check-ins can help assess how each of you is feeling with respect to stress levels and allow you both to make necessary adjustments.

2. Prioritize quality time together

Whether it’s a weekly date night, weekend getaway, or a simple home-cooked dinner, setting aside quality time for each other during busy days and weeks can strengthen a couple’s emotional connection.

3. Set boundaries

Establish boundaries between work and personal life to avoid burnout and ensure time for relaxation and rejuvenation. Encourage each other to switch off work-related devices outside of work hours and try to keep from discussing work issues during moments designated for family, time alone, or time with each other.

4. Share household responsibilities

Divide household chores and responsibilities in a way that feels fair to each partner. A shared domestic workload allows both partners to feel supported and reduces the stress of managing a home, alongside demanding careers.

5. Practice self-care

Individual self-care is essential for each partner to maintain a healthy work-life balance. Encourage each other to pursue individual hobbies, to exercise, and to connect with friends. Taking care of oneself enables each partner to show up as their best selves in the relationship.

6. Learn to say no

It's vital for couples to recognize their limits and learn to say no when overwhelmed with too many commitments. Overextending yourself or your family can lead to increased stress and diminished quality time together.

7. Be flexible and adaptable

Life is unpredictable, and work-life balance can sometimes tilt in one direction more than the other. Being flexible and adaptable during these times so that you are able to navigate challenges together and find creative solutions.

Maintaining a healthy work-life balance is crucial for couples so that they are more likely to thrive both personally and professionally. Remember, a successful work-life balance isn't about achieving perfection but rather finding a sustainable equilibrium that allows love and careers to flourish simultaneously. If you find that maintaining work-life balance becomes consistently difficult, consider seeking professional help from a couples therapist.

Article by Lindsay Poth, MA, LMFT Associate

Offering Individual Therapy for Women in Life Transitions, Individual Therapy for Men, Couples Counseling, & Couples Therapy in Austin, TX

 

The Negative Impact of Loneliness | Why Social Connection Matters

 

The US Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, is a champion for relationships and combatting the negative effects of loneliness and even goes so far as to say that loneliness is an epidemic in America. He states that as many as 1 in 2 adults feel this way. Personally, I have heard friends say things like, “I am in a happy marriage, but during the lockdown, I lost my gym. I don’t feel like I have a sense of community anymore.” - or - “All my friends are married with kids, so I have no one to travel with.” Couples therapist Ester Perel states, “We work from home, we get our groceries delivered, and we date from our couch.” In this blog, we will identify what loneliness is, why community matters, and how to find a sense of belonging.

Murthy defines loneliness as “a subjective distressing experience that results from perceived isolation or inadequate meaningful connections, where inadequate refers to the discrepancy or unmet need between an individual’s preferred and actual experience.” The feeling of loneliness can evoke a sense of unworthiness, lack of purpose, and isolation. Loneliness can have profound impacts on both mental and physical health. 

When you think about addressing loneliness, Murthy suggests looking at social connection. Social connection impacts our biology, behavior, and psychology, which impacts our health. Research has shown that loneliness can lead to heart disease, self-harm, and cognitive functioning issues like dementia, diabetes, hypertension, depression, and anxiety. Murthy also notes data stating that a lack of connection is equivalent to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day! In fact, there is a 26% chance of earlier death due to loneliness. These are just some of the physical and mental health risk factors of loneliness that social connection can help combat.

In a previous blog, I shared how the quality of the relationship is a direct indicator of quality of life. Social connection actually increases an individual’s chance of survival by 50%. When you feel less lonely, your nervous system is more regulated, and you have an increased sense of belonging and worthiness.

Take a moment to think about the impact of loneliness or connectedness in your life:

  • How do you feel around loved ones? Do you feel connected, or do you feel distant?

  • How are you sleeping and eating? Though many factors can influence these areas, if you feel a lack of connection, it’s likely that your physical health is impacted as well.

  • What is your motivation to pursue your goals? Loneliness can affect our ability to act on our goals, whereas connectedness can help support motivation and persistence.

It’s worth taking some time to inventory things that deplete you of connection and things that nourish your relationships. Things that deplete us of connection and can enhance feelings of loneliness include social media, texting instead of calling friends, only working from home, using apps for services, not being present in the moment, or lacking gratitude. Things that nourish our social connections include saying hi to the bank teller, running errands, calling a friend, joining a community, engaging in hobbies, volunteering, or working from a coffee shop.

Are you experiencing loneliness? Therapy can help. Reach out to us to speak with a therapist if you’re interested in therapy to improve the quality of your relationships.

 

Secure Attachment Style in Relationships

 

Relationship Scenario: You call your partner, and they don’t answer. 

Someone with an anxious attachment style might say: “Did I do something wrong? When will they call me back?”

Someone with an avoidant attachment style says: ”If they’re rejecting my call, I will ignore them when they call back.”

Someone with a secure attachment style might say: “Hmm, they must be busy. I will get back to work and look forward to hearing from them.” - or - “I will just text them - Call me when you’re free. It is not an emergency. I just have a question about dinner.”

Secure Attachment Style

Secure attachment is the healthiest attachment style. It is grounded, mature, and wise. Those with secure attachment have a healthy sense of self-worth, acceptance, and vulnerability. Those with secure attachment manage emotions and communication in the clearest way, leaving less of a push-pull in their relationships. 

In my previous two posts on attachment styles, we explored anxious attachment and avoidant attachment styles. In this blog post, we will touch on what it means to have a secure attachment style, as well as how a secure attachment style is developed as a child and then shows up as an adult.

Attachment styles are four behavioral archetypes based on attachment theory and research. Research suggests that secure attachment style is the most common type of attachment style in our society. Around 66% of the nation’s population is estimated to have a secure attachment style.

How does Secure Attachment Style Develop?

A child’s experience of responsiveness and attunement from caregivers impacts how they experience the world and relationships later in life. As children, those with a secure attachment style likely had their caregiver attend to them when they had physical cues such as crying. As a baby, they trusted their caregiver would be there for them. Trust is the anchor of secure attachment style. These individuals also had a stronger ability to self-soothe, as well as the ability not to let emotions drive their behavior.

Children develop secure attachment by having their needs met, feeling supported, having a sense of belonging, and feeling safe, trusted, seen, and heard while also being able to be on their own and test the world, knowing they can return safely. An example of a child with secure attachment would be - a child having their parent within view while still having autonomy and playing independently.

Secure Attachment in Adult Relationships

In adulthood, a secure attachment style is typically characterized as feeling comfortable in intimate relationships, balancing thinking emotionally and logically with a sense that, no matter what, you’ll be okay. People with a secure attachment style are generally able to communicate their needs and feelings effectively. It is the ability to self-soothe and regulate the nervous system, plus knowing, liking, and trusting all parts of yourself.

An adult with secure attachment:

  1. Knows how to regulate their emotions and understands their feelings 

  2. Has autonomy and the ability to navigate the world independently 

  3. Is open, connected, and trusting of others

  4. Is clear on who they are and what their purpose is

  5. Can communicate clearly 

  6. Strives to live a meaningful life

  7. Can ask for support from others and also lend support to others

  8. Is balanced with togetherness and separateness

  9. Is comfortable alone

  10. Is able to be reflective and observant of how they participate and contribute to the relationship

The good news is you can change your attachment style. Even if you didn’t have all these things growing up, you can work on shifting your attachment style and becoming securely attached in your adult relationships.

How to move from anxious or avoidant attachment styles to secure attachment style: 

  1. Learn to self soothe 

  2. Learn to regulate emotions and your nervous system

  3. Express primary vulnerable emotions

  4. Go to individual therapy 

  5. Take time to be self-compassionate and mindful

  6. Be around those that feel safe in a relationship and feel capable and comfortable being transparent

  7. Attend relationship therapy or couples therapy with your partner to practice healthy communication

  8. Set healthy boundaries

Developing a secure attachment style can lead to even more fulfilling and satisfying relationships, along with greater emotional well-being. So don't hesitate to work towards this goal - your future self will thank you! If you would like to work on developing a secure attachment style in your relationships, reach out to us to book an individual therapy, relationship therapy, or couples therapy session. 

 

What’s the Difference Between Couples Therapy and Individual Therapy

 

Couples therapy and individual therapy are types of therapy that cater to different needs and challenges. While both focus on improving mental health and well-being, they are designed for different contexts and address unique issues. In this blog post, we will explore the key differences between couples therapy and individual therapy and why they can assist in strengthening relationships and fostering personal growth.

One of the differences between couples therapy and individual therapy is the focus of therapy. In couple’s therapy, the therapist’s client is the relationship, not either of the individual partners, and the therapist helps the couple explore their dynamics, communication styles, and patterns of interaction between partners. Couples therapy may focus on discussions around intimacy, trust, and shared goals. On the other hand, individual therapy focuses on the needs and concerns of an individual. The therapist’s client is the individual themselves, and the therapist works one-on-one with the client to explore their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in a safe and confidential environment. Individual therapy typically focuses on personal growth, self-awareness, and self-improvement and can include work to manage or improve a client’s anxiety, depression, trauma, self-esteem, and coping skills.

Another difference between couples therapy and individual therapy is the therapeutic relationship. In couples therapy, the therapist serves as an advocate for the goals set for the relationship, facilitating communication between partners, helping them understand each other's perspective, and guiding them towards resolving conflicts. The therapist aims to create a safe space where both partners can express themselves openly and work towards mutual understanding and resolution. In contrast, individual therapy works within the dyadic client-therapist relationship, and the therapist acts as a supportive and non-judgmental ally who helps the client gain insight into their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors while developing coping strategies to manage challenges.

The goals of couples therapy and individual therapy can also differ. In couples therapy, the primary goal is to improve relationship dynamics, and the therapist can help the couple develop effective communication skills, rebuild trust, and foster emotional intimacy. The focus is on the relationship itself, and both partners are encouraged to take responsibility for their role in the couple’s presenting issues and work towards solutions together. In individual therapy, the focus of sessions is tailored to the individual's specific needs and concerns as they pertain to fostering personal growth and improving well-being. This may include exploring and understanding one's emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, as well as developing coping skills, improving self-esteem, managing stress, and resolving past traumas.

While both couples therapy and individual therapy are valuable forms of therapy, they differ in their focus, approach, and goals. Understanding how these types of therapy differ can help you choose the best approach for you and/or your partner.

At Austin Relational Wellness, our therapists offer both couples therapy and individual therapy. Reach out to us to learn more!

Article by Lindsay Poth, MA, LMFT Associate

Offering Individual Therapy for Women in Life Transitions, Individual Therapy for Men, Couples Therapy, & Couples Therapy in Austin, TX

 

What to Expect in Your First EFT Couples Therapy Session

 

One of the first questions I ask my new couples therapy clients once they arrive at my office is - “What feelings do you notice coming up as you sit down for this session?” I get many answers, from dread and nervousness to anticipation and excitement.

It makes sense! I’m totally new, and they are in my office opening up about the most important relationship in their lives. If you find yourself unsure of what to expect, this post will give you an idea of what to expect when starting couples therapy.

What Happens in the First Couples Therapy Session

Typically, clients have already had a phone call with their couples therapist to determine fit and schedule an appointment, and they have filled out the paperwork online. So the first session isn’t their first encounter with the therapist, but it is the first opportunity for them to talk to their couples therapist about their relationship history, how things are currently going, and what they hope to work on.

I meet the clients in the waiting room and invite them into my office. Before we get into anything, I will review our practice policies and paperwork on topics like confidentiality, payment, cancellation policy, outside communication, etc. This is also the time when I will answer any questions my clients might have about the couples therapy process. This can be a bit of an odd way to start a session, but it’s only necessary the first time.

The first couples therapy session is all about getting to know one another and starting to understand and map out the negative interaction pattern that comes alive between the couple. I practice couples therapy using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). In EFT, we call this the cycle or the dance, and we spend much of the first session focused on understanding the ins and outs of the couple's unique cycle.

I want each client to connect with their emotional experience of conflict in their relationship. When there is conflict, who turns up the emotional heat? Who turns it down? We explore the pattern that is co-created between partners in the relationship. The first session is typically spent talking directly to your couples therapist vs hashing it out with one another or speaking to each other about your concerns. 

Towards the end of the, I will spend time with the couple exploring their hopes and goals for couples therapy. I’ll ask questions like:

“What do you want out of this process?”

“How do you hope to feel?”

“What will tell you that your couples therapy experience was a success?”

As we wrap up, we schedule individual therapy sessions for each client to meet with the therapist to discuss family history and talk more one-on-one before rejoining to meet as a couple for the duration of our work.

Couples therapy can be a game changer. If you’re interested in improving your relationship, please reach out to one of our couples therapists for a free phone consultation.

Article by Austin Couples Therapist, Cat van der Westhuizen, LPC, LMFT

Cat provides in-person therapy at our office in North Austin